House and Garden
Allied carpets: 1985
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Essentially Allied!
Ariston: New Year’s Eve 1985
When you buy an Ariston
Its guarantee is five years long,
That’s nineteen ninety-one!
Ariston!
And-on-and-on-and-on-and-on.
One million French think they're très bon,
Half a million Germans can't be wrong,
From Italia to Bri-ton,
Ariston!
And-on-and-on-and-on-and-on.
Tune: Da-Da-Da by Trio
Bendix washing machine: early 1960s
If you can afford a washing machine, you can afford a Bendix!
Bendix Appliances
We'll do the homework!
Berger paints
Who makes the paint that’s neat and sleek and gleaming on this Rover Car?
(Woman
says “I don’t know”)
Who makes the paint for the Clifton Bridge
Or the ships that sail so far, so far away?
Berger — Who? — Be-e-erger
Ain't it quaint:
Nobody wants to know your name
But everybody loves your paint!
(Sung by Georgie Fame)
Black & Decker Workmate
Get him a Black & Decker for Christmas
BMK carpets: Late 1950s
Out in front! [Sheep mascot leading guardsmen]
Brentford Nylons 1 (1960s)
All right? Stay bright!
[Alan Freeman]
Brentford Nylons 2 (1960s)
Brentford Nylons — open Bank Holiday Monday … all right?
[Alan Freeman]
Cantors: 1970s
Turn your house into a home!
Coalite: 1984
More fuel, more glow, more fires to show from Coalite!
More —
More from Coalite
More —
More from Coalite
More fuel, more glow, more fires to show from Coalite!
Buy Coalite — you get a lot more fire for your money!
Cyril Lord carpets
This is luxury you can afford by Cyril Lord —
Squash it, and it just springs back,
Wash it, and the colour stays fast,,
Give it the treatment, the family treatment,
Enkalon is made to last for years and years and years and years….
This is luxury you can afford by Cyril Lord!
Dulux Paint: 1963
(With old English sheepdog, Digby) [What were the words?]
Dulux paint: 1985
May the gloss in Ross be a good gloss,
May the windowsills of Winchester shine,
May the doors of Wales
Dry as hard as nails,
Ceilings
cover well
In Motherwell,
The walls of Birmingham
Wipe clean of pea and ham,
And the skirting boards of Fife
Have a long life,
So brush in hand
Decorate this land
With the best paint!
Dulux — there’s no better paint.
Electrolux vacuum cleaner: 1960s
Nothing sucks
Like Electrolux!
Esso Blue paraffin (1): 1958
I'm the Esso Blee Dooler!
Esso Blue paraffin (2)
Boom-boom-boom-boom Esso Blue!
Esso Blue paraffin (3)
They asked me how I knew
It was Esso Blue,
I of course replied
With lower grades one buys
Smoke gets in your eyes.
Everest Double Glazing
You only fit double glazing once.
So fit the best — fit Everest.
(with Ted Moult, who dropped a feather to the ground in the highest pub in England, the Tan Hill Inn on the North Yorkshire/Durham border.)
Flatley Dryer: c.1960
Our mum’s got a Flatley!
Flymo: 1982
If you find mowing the lawn an uphill struggle — you don't know Flymo!
All Flymo mowers glide effortlessly along, and make short work of long grass — even when it’s wet!
Easy to handle, this Flymo mower collects grass — packing the cuttings in tight so it holds more.
And this one, with its extra-light Kawasaki engine, will get you into and out of the tightest spots!
For a neat and tidy lawn….
It’s easy when you know — Flymo!
Formica (1): early 1960s
Jack Warner (Dixon of Dock Green): You know some people think Formica Decor … (phwoo) Formica Decorative Laminate is difficult to apply … in fact, it's easier to apply than to say! Your Handyman shop has it, and they'll cut it to size for you — then you glue it on and finish it off.
Just look at this (hands seen covering a damaged occasional table with Formica in one second flat!) — there, what a difference! And you can do lots of things around the house just as easily with Formica Decorative Laminate. And this is the sign to look for.
Formica
These days not everything that looks like Formica is really Formica.
Hadrian Paint
Hadrian, Hadrian
The deep gloss paint!
For a really professional finish, use Hadrian.
Hoover vacuum cleaner (1)
All the dirt, all the grit, Hoover gets it, every bit:
Hoover beats as it sweeps as it cleans!
Hoover vacuum cleaner (2): mid-1960s
Little boy to his mates: We've got a Hoover 65!
Hotpoint kettle
Wait! Watch it! Here comes the steam,
It’s the Hotpoint Hi-Speed kettle,
It’s the fastest boiling kettle you can buy
Now boils a pint of water, in under one minute
Hotpoint washing machine
Will not, will not, tangle clothes.
Kingfisher Contour (tiling on a roll)
If it looks as good as this,
It can only be Kingfisher Contour.
Nothing looks quite the same as …
Kingfisher Contour!
K-Tel gadgets
The Betty Ann Knitter — the ideal Christmas gift!
This knife is really dull! K-Tel Majestic Sharpener sharpens your knives this fast and easy way!
A new multi-purpose opener — easily adjusts to open all size jar tops!
Stop littering! Some of those empty bottles can be valuable! The K-Tel Bottle Cutter!
This is the K-Tel Hair Magician! By just combing it will trim and taper longer hair, cut and taper shorter hair … quickly and safely. You can now get the latest cuts in only minutes with K-Tel Hair Magician!
Do you find brushing clothes tiresome? Well Here’s your answer! The K-Tel brush cleans upholstery in the home and car quickly! To clean the brush simply brush backwards. Lasts for years!
Maunders
Homes for good living!
Mazda light-bulbs: 1950s
A light-bulb (trying to get into the light socket) shatters
Voiceover: Clumsy!
Mazda lamps stay brighter longer — always ask for Mazda!
Mazda Light Bulbs (2)
(Two nightshift workers are taking their break. One of them is reading a book)
Worker 1: 'ey, 'ere … listen … listen to this!
Lord Clemston gazed upon Lucretia’s loveliness. Her milky white shoulders were ablaze in the moonlight. Lord Clemston wrapped his thickly muscled arms around her delicate waist and whispered in her ear … (the light bulb pops) … I can't see!
Worker 2: Lord Clemston was blind?
Voice-over: It’s time you changed your bulbs to Mazda! Mazda longer-life bulbs last 33 per cent longer than ordinary bulbs!
Morphy Richards toaster: 1977
You wouldn't buy a teapot with out a spout, so why buy a toaster without a plug?! Get yourself the only complete toaster — with a fitted safety plug and deeper, wider slot to take thick and thin bread. Morphy Richards — the one with the plug on!
Moulinex (c.1980)
Moulinex makes things simple,
Moulinex makes things nice,
Moulinex makes things simple,
And that includes the price!
Philips washing machine: 1985
The new Philips washing machine is so reliable that for a single payment of £10 Philips are offering a free lifetime parts guarantee!
Seems they've thought of just about everything!
The Philips washing machine — its future’s guaranteed!
Pilkington Glass: 1970s
Amazingly pays in your glazing!
Pink Paraffin
Man sits on floor confronting paraffin heater, and a voice answers his questions to a jingling little tune
Man: I've got a cold house.
Voice: Why don't you heat it?
Man: My heater’s empty, I think.
Voice: Why don't you fill it?
Man: I'm out of paraffin.
Voice: Well now that’s easy, ring for Pink.
Man: Now can you tell me, what will it cost me?
Voice: Less than a penny an hour.
Man: That’s fine. (sung as one line) Now can you tell me, who will deliver it?
Voice: the dealer where you see this sign, see this sign, (annoying jingly sound) see this sign.
Qualcast lawn mower: 1978
Hover cutter commercial — Take 19. Action!
Actress: It’s so easy to mow the lawn with my Hover cutter.
Director: Fine, lovely …
House-owner: Excuse me! I hope you're not leaving all those grass cuttings on my lawn (oh, no of course not!) they can encourage weeds you know!
Director: Fred! rake-up those lawn mowings before you leave would you?
Voice-over: As you've just seen, this lawn has been cut with one of those mowers that hover.
Fred: Well er — I'll be off then.
House-owner: Oh, just a minute — I've got something for you …
Fred: Er … thank you.
House-owner: Just run over it with that will you?
Voice-over: Now Fred’s cutting it again with a Qualcast Concorde. As you can see the Concorde cuts lower than a hover, it’s tidier than a hover….
House-owner: Ah! that’s more like it!
Fred: Yeah! It’s a lot less bovver than an ’over.
Voice-over: The Qualcast Concorde — for a perfect lawn … It’s a lot less bother than a hover!
[This was an advertisement aimed against Flymo, but in the end Qualcast gave in and made its own hover mowers]
RCA Victor portable radio: 1955
See these two portable radios? Well, watch this. Let her go, Betty!
(Wife drops a new portable while husband drops an old one.)
Sorry friend, you old-style portables have to go.
But look at our new RCA Victor portable radio!
Came through without a chip!
RCA Victor’s non-breakable impact case means no chipping,
no cracking, no breaking. And hear that tone!
It’s RCA Victor’s great golden throat sound.
See the world’s only portable with the non-breakable impact case.
As low as £27–19s. at your RCA Victor dealers!
Ronseal varnish
It does exactly what it says on the tin.
Russell Hobbs automatic electric kettle
The Forgettle!
Silentnight beds (1)
I believe in Miracoil!
Silentnight beds (2)
Hippo mum (to her hippo children): Eat up your dinner if you want to go to bed early!
SodaStream: 1970
An unexpected scene,
So get busy with the fizzy,
SodaStream.
Big or small,
Get busy with the fizzy,
Short or tall,
You get a fizzy flavour with water from the tap,
Press the magic button,
And shake it like that.
Fix a little mixture
And add a little dash,
No trouble with the bubbles,
Splish a little splash.
It’s a fizzy stream,
So get busy with the fizzy.
SodaStream: that’s fizzy!
SodaStream (2): late 1970s?
For goodness sake,
I got the hippy hippy shake,
Yeah I got the shake,
I got the hippy hippy shake,
Ooh — the hippy hippy shake,
Ooh — the hippy hippy shake,
Ooh — the hippy hippy shake.
SodaStream — get busy with the fizzy!
[Tune: The Hippy Hippy Shake by the Beatles: 1962]
Spear & Jackson tools (c.1970)
(Sung)
Spear and Jackson
The tools to trust
(strong rhythm music)
dede dede
dede dede
dededede!!
Toshiba Hi-Fi: 1980s
'Ello, tosh, got a Toshiba?
'Ello, tosh, got a Toshiba?
Like your hi-fi system!
Like your hi-fi system!
It’s got a fair old bit of power!
It’s got a fair old bit of power!
We are talking quality!
We are talking quality!
Course, every Toshiba component is stronger to last longer —
Know what I mean?
Get your ears round that!
Get your ears round that!
'Ello, tosh, got a Toshiba?
'Ello, tosh, got a Toshiba?
[Parody of Alexei Sayle’s “ 'Ello, John, got a new motor? “]
Waterford crystal glassware
(1) Born in fire, blown by mouth and cut by hand with heart.
(2) Even when a piece of Waterford is dated, it’s timeless.
(3) Every piece is a work of art.
Westclox: 1955
Clocks back Westclox, Clocks back Westclox …
[repeated to the rhythm of a ticking clock at the end of British Summer Time]
WL MagiCan: Christmas 1984
A WL MagiCan opens any shape of can, removes the entire lid, then ejects it automatically!
The MagiCan from WL — the home of bright ideas!
(WL stood for William Leverne Ltd)
Zanussi: June 1980
Scene: A warehouse. A large wooden crate falls through the roof; the crate (labelled The Planet Zanussi) falls apart to reveal a fridge freezer.
Brian (in charge): Right, where’s this lot from then Colin?
Colin (the new boy): The Planet Zanussi!
Brian: Oh yes, aye, Zanussi freezers, washing machines, tumble dryers, dishwashers….
Colin: … Brian!
Brian: … Ah — now take this fridge freezer — how often do you get craftsmanship like that then down here, eh?
Colin: Not very often!
Brian: And they're all reliable, economical — look at this dishwasher — no flying saucers in there eh?
Colin: I don't know how they do it!
Brian: Well you see Colin — it’s the appliance of science, isn't it?
Colin: Oh! is that what it is?
Brian: Yes!
(Another appliance falls through the roof)
Brian: Right, take it away lads.
Distant unearthly voice-over: From Zanussi — the appliance of science!
Bex Bissell carpet sweeper
Brentford Nylons (with Alan Freeman)
Breville sandwich toaster
Brolac paint
Continental quilts
Crown wallpaper and paint
Dunlopillo
Fison’s fertilizer/weed-killer
Flymo
Fridges
Hotpoint twin tubs
Hoover Keymatic washing machine
Kenwood food mixers and blenders
Kossett carpets (with white cat)
Microwave ovens
Ronco gadgets
Rowenta irons
Rufflette tape
Sanderson’s curtains and matching wallpaper
Swish curtain track
Trimphone
Television sets
Walpamur paint
Fibreglass curtains.
And was it Tintawn carpets that could withstand a rhino, and what was the slogan?
The following appliances were advertised in magazines.
Were there also television advertisements?
AEG Lavalux, 1960
Belling fires, 1961
Creda Zeromatic 65, 1962
Creda Carefree, 1963
Easiclene twin-tub, 1961
HMV vacuum cleaner, 1962
Hoover Keymatic (brochure), 1966
Hotpoint Countess, 1960
Kenwood Dishmaster, 1961
Kenwood dishwasher, 1965
Kenwood Chef, 1965
Moulinex, 1960
Parnall Vibra-Beat, 1960
Prestcold Packaway, 1961
Rolls Starmatic, 1961
Rolls-Colston dishwasher, 1962
Rolls twin-tubs (brochure), 1962
Colston Turbo-Jet, 1969
Colston Commodore, 1973
Colston Jetstream, 1974
Twin V twin-tub, 1960
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