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UK television adverts 1955–1990

Food (see also Breads etc)

Ambrosia Creamed Rice (1)

Music!The ten-second sweet,
Delicious to eat:
Ambrosia Creamed Rice!Music!

Ambrosia Creamed Rice (2)

Devon knows how they make it so creamy!

Ambrosia Creamed Rice (3)

Is Ambrosia Creamed Rice nice? … It's DELICIOUS!

Apples

Polish up your English!

Armour corned beef

Armour Brand, with the Armour Star.

Atora suet (1)

Tuck into Atora today.

Atora suet (2)

What [question incomplete]?

Kids: Music!Atora suet can do it!Music!

Three different questions, same reply, then:

Kids: Music!Atora suet can … DO IT!Music!

Atora suet (3)

Music!What makes a pudding that’s fluffy and light?
Atora — You’re getting warmer!Music!

Sung by Kim Johnson

Babybel cheese

Sheep:

Music!Ba, ba, ba — ba-Babybel
Ba, ba, ba — ba-Babybel.Music!

Tune: “Barbara Ann” by the Beach Boys

Bacon: 1950s

B — for a bacon meal
A — for appetite appeal
C — how fit it makes you feel
O — boy I’m full today
N — ergy for work and play
Everyone needs bacon everyday.

Bananas

Music!When you haven’t got time to eat,
Unzip a banana.
When you fancy a fruity treat,
Unzip a banana!Music!

Next time you unzip a banana, serve it with custard or add it to jelly. Bananas are delicious when baked, and they go perfectly with your breakfast cereal. Keep plenty in your fruit bowl, and …

Music!When you fancy a fruity treat,
Unzip a banana!Music!

[The word “unzip” is spelt “unzipp” in the picture caption on the advert]

Batchelor's Soup: c.1965

Warm them up with Batchelor's tasty soups.

Batchelors Cup-a-Soup Special: 1983

Music!Nobody makes soup-in-a-cup
Like Batchelors cup-a-soup!Music!

“Mmm! that’s great!”

Yes, and now there’s new Batchelors Cup-a-Soup Special too!
Exciting new soups with lots of tasty goodies you can see!

“Great! Minestrone special!”

Feast your eyes on those vegetables, ring noodles and crispy croutons!

“Mm! French onion special!”

There’s crunchy croutons and Emmental cheese in there!

“Croutons!”

“Noodles!”

Music!Nobody makes soup-in-a-cup
Like Batchelors cup-a-soup!Music!

“That’s special!”

Batchelors Garden peas

[Peas have to get through a grid to qualify]

Only the youngest, freshest peas get through.

Batchelors Savoury Rice (1): 1980s

Fresh green peas all the way from America
Red peppers, green peppers, juicy green beans
Carrots and peas, and a pinch of seasoning
Bachelor’s Savoury Rice!

Batchelors Savoury Rice (2): 1984

(The kitchen is padlocked and barred. Father and two sons desperately try to break in)

This family is being subjected to the most maddening frustration there is! They’ve always found Batchelors Savoury Rice irresistible, but now they know Batchelors have made their savoury rice even more delicious … tantalizingly tastier with lots of vegetables! And now, Batchelors have introduced two new mouth-watering varieties: Mushroom … and Tropical Fruit. And it’s driving them crazy! Batchelors Savoury Rice — every grain will drive them insane!

Batchelors Super Noodles: 1985

Music!Get back to the Super Noodles twisting
Or you won’t know what you’re missing!Music!

Add Batchelors Super Noodles to boiling water —
add the flavour pack, and simmer for four minutes.

Music! They’re super too,
Tasty and filling too!Music!

Batchelors Super Noodles — add a new twist to meals!

Beef

Music! It’s Sharon’s nineteenth birthday — she got engaged to Ray!
Above the jovial banter you can hear Ray’s mother say:
“What no meat?”
(What no meat?)
A meal’s not special without some British beef!
What no meat?
(What no meat?)
How about a bit of British beef?Music!

A bit of British beef makes everyone feel at home!

[British Meat Marketing Board]

Bernard Matthews Crispy Crumb Turkey Steaks: 1982

Bernard Matthews: I’m Bernard Matthews.

Workers: Oi, what about the workers?

Bernard Matthews: All right, then, you tell them.

Worker 1: Well I make, ’em, and I love ’em.

Worker 2: They’re all right, boy

Worker 3: Moist.

Worker 4: Tasting delicious.

Worker 5: Meat, not mince.

Worker 6 : The whole family loves them.

Worker 7: My husband gets his share.

Bernard Matthews: What are they? My new Crispy Crumb Turkey Steaks. Slices of juicy tender turkey breast, trimmed with a little pork fat and covered with light crispy breadcrumbs.

Workers: They’re bootiful.

Bernard Matthews: New Crispy Crumb Turkey Steaks. And at around 99 pence for four, the price is bootiful too.

Bernard Matthews Turkey Roast: 1981

I’ve spent most of my life turkey-farming up here in Norfolk. I’m Bernard Matthews, and this little booty is the Matthews one-and-a-quarter-pound turkey roast. Looks like a roast, cooks like one in just 75 minutes. It’s a family-sized roast made from prime Norfolk turkey with a little pork fat and salt. And it’s bootifully tender.

Bootiful, really bootiful. Go on, give the family a treat — give them a slice of Norfolk.

The Matthews turkey roast.

Bero flour

Bero cuts out oven doubt!

Bird’s Angel Delight (1)

Just add milk.

Butterscotch, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Banana — Ask any kid!

A luxury you’ll love to serve – soft, smooth and sophisticated.

Bird’s Angel Delight (2)

A series of adverts featuring children waxing lyrical about their favourite dessert (Angel Delight) and ending with the voiceover:

Angel Delight. Ask any kid.

Bird’s Dream Topping (1): c.1970

Any sweet,
Cold or hot,
Bird’s Dream Topping,
Tops the lot!

Bird’s Dream Topping (2)

Bird’s Dream Topping: It’s got twelve and a half per cent real cream.

Birds Eye Cod in batter: 1960s

Two big steaks of sea-fresh cod in a crispy, crunchy batter turns your kitchen into the best fish shop in town!

Bird’s Instant Whip: mid-1960s

Small boy seated at a table looking fed-up

Voiceover: Once there was a boy who was bored with puddings.
“I’ve lost my taste for them”, he sighed.
Till a very close friend (boy’s mother appears in shot holding glass dish of Instant Whip) urged him to try Bird’s Instant Whip.
“Bird’s Instant Whip?” said the boy (starts to eat with evident relish).

Bird’s Trifle (1): 1969

Trifle — cornerstone of the British Empire! When the people stopped bothering to make trifle, the Empire started to crumble … coincidence perhaps. But we at Birds Eye felt duty-bound to bring back the trifle. It’s a small beginning, but from little acorns mighty oaks do grow! Birds Eye trifle!

Music!Britons never, never, never shall be slaves!Music!

Bird’s Trifle (2)

Bird’s trifle — doesn’t every family deserve something a little bit special?!

Bird’s Whisk and Serve Semolina: 1982

Music!Semolina, Semolina — just whisk and serve
Semolina’s new, Semolina’s first!Music!

Bird’s have turned good old semolina into
deliciously creamy tasting Whisk and Serve Semolina.

Music! Semolina, Semolina just what they deserve
Semolina whisk, Semolina stir!Music!

[Tune: Thumbelina]

Birds Eye (late 1960s)

Music!Come home … to Birds Eye country,
Birds Eye country!Music!

Birds Eye Alphabites: 1985

A is for Alpha
B is for Bite
C for yourself
That they taste just right!
D is for Dinner
E is for Egg
Letters so tasty — from A through to Z
Crisp golden potato and fluffy inside
Oven baked, grilled or fried
Made by Birds Eye — you can’t buy better
And called Alphabites — ’cause each one’s a letter!

Birds Eye Beefburgers (1): c.1968

Birds Eye Beefburgers. A whole lot of beef for a whole lot of nourishment"

Birds Eye Beefburgers (2): 1973

Birds Eye Beefburgers … when you've gotta make it something fast

Birds Eye Beefburgers (3): 1976

Boy 1: ’Ere, do you know something — if you stop eating Birds Eye beefburgers and eat these cheap ones … (Boy 2: Oh-aye) you’ll save Mum enough money to buy me a Leeds United tracksuit.

Boy 2: Fantastic (pulls a face)

Boy 1: I mean, they look the same don’t they?

Boy 2: They might look t’same but they don’t taste the same!

Boy 1: Ah — you can’t tell the difference.

Boy 2: Well I can — the cheap un’s yours.

Voice-over: Birds Eye — somehow other beefburgers just don’t taste the same.

Birds Eye Chicken Pies: 1977

(Featuring June Whitfield as Pinocchio’s mother)

Mother: I like to give my little Pinocchio something special — ah, he’s been out playing all day, and tonight I am giving him Birds Eye chicken pie. Just look at all those juicy chunks of chicken in such gravy! And the pastry’s so light you can’t tell it from home-made!

Pinocchio: Mmm lovely! Did you make it yourself, Mum?

Mother: Of course I did (her nose grows).

Voiceover: Birds Eye chicken pie — it can make a dishonest woman out of you!

[There was a variant on this, when the Disraelian Ambassador was coming for dinner but the chef had gone off. She heated the pie and when the ambassador asked her after the meal whether she had cooked it herself, she replied in his language “niche de da”, or words to that effect, meaning But of course!]

Birds Eye Dinner for One: 1978

Steam train pulling away as in “Brief Encounter”:

Birds Eye dinners for one: for people who aren’t used to being on their own.

Birds Eye Fish Fingers (1): 1967

Fresh from the Captain’s table!

[with Captain Birdseye]

Birds Eye Fish Fingers (2): early 1970s

Children’s chorus: Music!Birds Eye Fish Fingers!Music!

Child speaking: They’re the ones!

Birds Eye Oven Crispy Cod: 1982

Music!Everything today is thoroughly modern,
Birds Eye oven crispiest —
Cod in batter — in the oven you pop
Traditional, delicional!
Goodbye old frying pan,
I’m changing and how,
So hear that (crunch) Birds Eye cod has thoroughly modern batter now!Music!

Birds Eye Oven Crispy Cod — it’s thoroughly modern, but it tastes traditional!

Music!Vo-do-di-o-do!Music!

[Tune:Thoroughly Modern Millie]

Birds Eye Peas (1): 1969

Music!Birds Eye peas — sweet as the moment
Sweet as the moment when the pod went pop!Music!

Birds Eye Peas (2)

(with June Whitfield)

They’ll make a dishonest woman out of you!

Birds Eye Petit Pois

Based on song by Little Richard

Large pea called Cannonball bounces off a bag of peas.

The little peas inside: Music!I hear you knocking but you can’t come in!Music!

Voiceover: Now we’re even smaller, even sweeter.

Birds Eye Pizza

That’s handy, Harry, stick it in the oven.

Birds Eye Potato Waffles

Birds Eye potato waffles, they’re waffly versatile:
They go with beans, bangers, bacon, burgers, fish, fingers, fish fingers,
eggs in, eggs on, gammon, steak, chops.
Grill ’em, bake ’em, fry ’em, eat ’em,
Birds Eye potato waffles, they’re waffly versatile!

Birds Eye Savoury Rissoles

Music! Birds Eye savoury rissoles,
They’re made country-style.Music!

Birds Eye (?Shepherd’s Pie)

Birds Eye — It could make a dishonest woman out of you!

Birds Eye Steakhouse Grills: 1982

Music!Will it be chips or jacket spuds,
Will it be salad or fro-o-zen peas?
Will it be mushrooms?
Fried onion rings?
You’ll have to wait and see!Music!

Birds Eye introduce Steakhouse Grills — pure ground beef that you cook like a steak and serve like a steak. What will you give your old man with his Steakhouse Grill?

Music!Hope it’s chips, it’s chips
We ho-o-pe it’s chips, it’s chips.Music!

Birds Eye Steakhouse Grills — now in lamb as well as beef!

[Tune: “Que sera, sera”]

Birds Eye Steaklets: 1960s

Music!Birds Eye Steaklets,
Oh so right
For big, big, big, big
Appetites!Music!

Bisto (1)

Aah — Bisto!

Music! Bisto browns, Bisto seasons,
Bisto thickens all in one go. So …Music!
Pass the gravy — pass the Bisto.

Don’t say gravy — say Bisto.

Bisto (2): 1976

Wherever there’s meat, there’s Bisto!

Bisto (3): 1981

Music!When it’s dry — let it pour,
When it’s dry (Bisto Rich Gravy Granules) let it pour!
When it’s dry (Bisto Rich Gravy Granules) let it pour!Music!

Bisto Rich Gravy Granules make meaty-tasting gravy in seconds —
for meats that haven’t enough juices to make it on their own!

Music!When it’s dry (Bisto Rich Gravy Granules) let it pour!Music!

Bisto (4): c.1984

Music!Can you find a car that cleans itself?
(Never in a month of Sundays),
Will dad ever fix that sloping shelf?
(Never in a month of Sundays),
Will Joey ever learn to speak?
Will Susie finish by next week?
And when it comes to gravy what could beat —
Bisto in a month of Sundays?

’Cos Bisto browns and it thickens all in one,
Without it Sunday lunch just isn’t done,
You’ll never put the “aah” in gravy without —
Bisto!
No never, never, never in a month of Sundays
(Never in a month of Sundays)
You can’t beat Bisto —
Never, never in a month of Sundays!Music!

Boursin cheese: 1974

The best bread in the world … is French bread. The best French bread … is bread with Boursin.

Bowyers pork pies and other products: 1974

Bowyers bring you the wealth of Wiltshire.

Branston pickle

Bring out the Branston!

Buitoni Ravioli: 1971/2

Buitoni Ravioli. Don’t talk. Eat!

Cadbury’s Chillo: 1970s

Chillo — so creamy, so easy to make-a …
Mmm — I remember when I was in a-Napoli (sobs).

Voiceover: New Cadbury’s Chillo — just add milk and cook in the fridge!

California raisins

You heard it through the grapevine.

Campbell’s soup (1): c.1970

You give them more goodness with Campbell's soups.

Campbell’s soup (2)

Heat it, eat it.
Fresh tasting soup that lasts.

Mm! mm! good!
Mm! mm! good!
That’s what Campbell’s soup is!
Mm! mm! good!

Campbell’s chunky soup

The soup that eats like a meal!

Campbell’s meatballs

Campbell’s meatballs —
The meat they’re sure to eat.

Campbells meat balls with pasta: 1985

Mother: There you go — Campbells meat balls with pasta.

Young son: Pasta! what’s pasta?

Mother: It’s Italian — like spaghetti.

(Son daydreams about playing football for Milan as he clears his plate)

Pasta with meatballs — a new winning team from Campbells … also with beans.

Cerebos salt

See how it runs!

Cheese Bureau (1)

The Cheese Bureau operated from 1965 until 1973, and its role was to promote Cheddar and Cheshire cheeses on behalf of the dairy boards of New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Scotland, England, and Wales. It ceased to operate when Britain entered the Common Market, as Commonwealth producers were then given fixed quotas of the amount of cheese they could export to the UK and therefore had no further interest in expanding the UK market.

I said, “Please, Louise,
Won’t you pass me the cheese?
Won’t you pass me the cheese?
’Cos I’ve got the bread and butter,
But I don’t have the cheese.”

I said, “Golly, Sam,
Won’t you pass me the ham?
Won’t you pass me the ham?
’Cos I’ve got the bread and butter and cheese,
But I don’t have the ham.”

Cheese, please, Louise.

Cheese Bureau (2)

Any way you please it — cheese it!

Cheese Bureau (3): 1969

With actress Sheila Bernette

We must have more cheese!

Cheese Bureau (4): 1973

Choose cheese. Make a meal of it today.

Cheese Bureau(5): c.1973

Choose it, and use it!

Cheese Bureau (6): c.1973

You can use it on burgers — or beans
For a meal — or betweens
For slicing or dicing

Music!Chee-eeseMusic!

Choose it. It’s worth it.

Cheese Bureau (7): c.1973

Music!English Cheddar – Gorgeous (gorgeous, gorgeous)!Music!

Chef Square Shaped Soups: 1970s

Chef Square Shaped Soups show how a good soup should be!
The small box with the best soup around — just add water!

Chillo

Cook in da freej for two owa. Jus lika mamma used to maek eet bak in eetaly wen I wasa lad.

Colman’s cook-in sauces

… So there’s no need for any added artificial colours or preservatives.
They make an every-day meal simply delicious.
Colman’s — always make the best a touch better.

Colman’s Mustard

C’mon Colman’s light my fire!

Cookeen (1): 1960s

Cookeen — gives you the golden touch.

Cookeen (2)

Music!Give ’em a lift (m-mmm) with Cookeen!Music!

Cookeen (3): 1979

When you’re making pastry, trust Cookeen to rub-in straight from the fridge — to help you make perfect pastry every time.

Cookeen (4)

Cookeen — for the sort of pastry that never fails to give the family a lift.

Crisp ’n’ Dry

Hey what’s today …Thursday? Friday?
Hope it’s Friday! That’s a Crisp ’n’ Dry day!

Voice-over: Any day can be a Fryday, when you fry with Crisp ’n’ Dry.

Crosse & Blackwell Mince Savour (soya meat substitute)

Mince Savour makes mince moreish!

Crosse & Blackwell soup (1): c.1970s

(Posh lady eating soup)

Butler: How is the soup, madam?

Lady: So-so Smithers, so-so.

(In flies Crosse and Blackwell’s Souperman, holding a can of soup)

Another case of so-so soup!

I save the world from so-so soup,
Crosse & Blackwell tastes supreme:
There’s red wine in my oxtail,
And in my chicken, double cream.

Crosse & Blackwell soup (2): c.1970s

Souperman sitting in an armchair very quickly recites:

Hi, Souperman here!

I save the world from so-so soup
cross and blackwell tastes supreme
Theres red wine in my Oxtail,
And in my chicken, double cream.

So next time you go shopping
Just remember what I say
Crosse and Blackwell makes a tasty change
From so-so soup … OK?

Boom-boom thank you … goodbye!

[Souperman flies off … leaving his slippers floating around above the chair]

Cross & Blackwell soup (3)

(Sung by The Two Ronnies)

Music!Oh Mr Blackwell,
Yes Mr Crosse,
Does your vegetable soup
Have something new?

………

Country vegetable with beef,
See it written underneath.
May I try some Mr Blackwell?
If you buy some Mr C. Music!

Dana luncheon meat (from c.1966)

Let’s have Dana for dinner!

Danish Bacon (1)

Good bacon has Danish written all over it!

Danish Bacon (2): 1973

Danissssshhhhhhhszszszszszszsz   (voiceover blending into a bacon sizzle)

Del Monte sliced pineapple

(Scene: a pineapple plantation)

Voiceover: It takes well over a year for a pineapple to reach perfect ripeness. (The man from Del Monte cuts a slice of pineapple, samples it, and signals the plantation manager.) The man from Del Monte knows that moment!

Plantation manager (to the pickers): The man from Del Monte says yes!

Voiceover: He then sees that these pineapples are picked and packed the same day. Say yes to the best — Del Monte!

Eden Vale cottage cheese: 1973

Eden Vale Cottage Cheese. Your very good health.

Eden Vale yoghurt: 1960s

Eden Vale yoghurt is the young idea!

Eggs (1): 1966

Rise ’n’ shine
Go to work on an egg

[series with Tony Hancock]

Where’s me soldiers?

Six eggs and only five soldiers!

Eggs (2)

You can rely on the lion!

Eggs (3): c.1970

Featuring boy called Sam and his mum

E for B and be your best!

which morphed into:
E for B and Georgie Best!

Eggs (4): early 1970s

Crack a good breakfast tomorrow! For only a few pence you can start the day properly. What else can send you off with a different breakfast every day for only a few pence? It’s all in an egg … so get cracking!

Eggs (5): 1982

Find the goodness where it’s at!
Give the egg-shell some of that!
Go smash an egg!

[With Diana Dors]

Farrow’s tinned peas

A crow arrives at a pea field

Where’s my dinner?

Sorry mate you’re too late! The best peas went to Farrows!

Findus crispy pancakes

Success on a plate for you.

Findus frozen fish (?)

Gone fishing, gone away,
catching the fish in the wild, deep waters, so far away.

Findus fish fingers: 1969

Alf: Fish fingers! I’m not a bloomin’ kid — I don’t wanna play with me dinner — I wanna bit of real fish!

Rita: That is real fish (Alf:yeah!) it’s Findus Fish Fingers!

Alf: Well, where’s the bones then ’ey? Answer me that — Where’s the bones?!

Rita: It’s not supposed to have bones!

Alf: If that is re-al fish you gotta see the skeleton ain’t you? Well you gotta have something to suck on afterwards — Anyway, what are you going to give the poor old cat?

Rita: Well he can have fish fingers too! (makes to take Alf’s plate for the cat)

Alf: Oi, Oi, Just a minute! Just a minute! (he takes a bite)

Rita: I thought you said you didn’t like it?!

Alf: I don’t!

Rita: What’s that in there then? (points at Alf’s mouth)

Alf: I’m not wasting good food on that mangey old moggie — Down!

Voice-over: Have you found out about Findus? Every single Findus Fish Finger is made from whole tasty fish — You can taste the trouble they take!

[With Warren Mitchell as Alf Garnett and Una Stubbs as Rita]

Findus (mid-1970s)

Ttune: “Gone fishing gone away”)

Music!Findus the fishermanMusic!

Fish (1): mid-1960s

Remember Tuesday is your good news day!

Fish (2): 1980

Fill it with fish!

Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney Pie (1)

With Bob Todd of Benny Hill Show fame:

It’s Beef! It’s Beef!

Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney Pie (2): 1982

(Scene: a butcher’s shop. A newly-wed enters carrying a recipe book)

Newly-wed: Have you got any ….

Butcher: Hello love! See you and Dave got married then! Got just what you need for supper — tender beef, simmered in its own gravy, with a tasty pie crust….

Newly-wed: Oh, but I’ve never made a pie….

Butcher: No, and you’ll never have to! Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie — just like his mother’s. She buys them here too!

Fray Bentos steak pasties: 1969

From the lean meat people.

Gerber baby food: early 1970s

Shouldn’t your baby be a Gerber baby?

Glenryck Pilchards in tomato sauce, c.1970)

Each night I go to sleep,
Dreaming that I’ll wake up
On a bed of lettuce leaves,
With my tomato love.
Each night I ask the stars up above —
Why must I be a pilchard in love?
[Tune: “Teenager in Love”]

’Cause I’m a Pilchard! P.I. — L.C.H. — A.R.D.
I’ll say it again….
[Tune: “I’m a Woman”]

Hartley’s tinned peas

Hartley’s garden peas are fresh garden peas
… … …

Better than peas from your own garden.

Heinz Alphabet Spaghetti

Don’t forgetti
The alphabetti!

Heinz Baked Beans (1)

I’m always seeing adverts where boys just talk in rhyme,
And say how much they like Heinz beans and eat them all the time.
Well that’s not very clever, I’m not all that impressed
’Cos everybody likes Heinz beans, ’cos Heinz Beans are the best.
They could use that as a slogan!

Heinz Baked Beans (2): 1967

A million housewives every day
pick up a tin of beans and say,
“Beanz meanz Heinz!”

Heinz Baked Beans (3)

A series with two 6-year-old boys, John and his brother:

I sometimes think my Mum prefers my Dad as much as me,
You ought to see the pile of beans she gives my Dad for tea,
I need Heinz beans as much as him — in fact I need them more
’Cause my Dad’s very very old — and me I’m only four.
(I’m six really, but it didn’t fit.)

We like Heinz Beans a lot, my brother John and me,
We eat them all the time because … … … …,
We haven’t had our beans today,
“There’s something wrong” we said,
Until we found the reason was
We’d just got out of bed!
(We knew because we still had our pyjamas on!)

1967:
You can’t have stew for breakfast
You can’t have porridge for tea
But we have Heinz beans at any time
My brother John and me.

Music!Don’t be mean with the beans, Mum,
Beanz meanz Heinz!Music!

Heinz Baked Beans (4): 1967

Mum: Sure you’ll be all right?

Daughter: Yes mum — I can do it (opens a can of Heinz beans)

Music!A million housewives every day
pick up a can of beans and say
“Beans means Heinz!“Music!

Mum: Rosemary’s quite a cook — she did the beans.

Son: Well if she’s a cook, I’m a magician.

Mum: Oh?

Son: Yes, just watch these beans disappear.

Music!A million housewives every day
pick up a can of beans and say
“Beans means Heinz!”Music!

Heinz Baked Beans (5): early 1980s

Child with plate of beans: I wonder, if I eat enough Heinz baked beans, do you think I could become Prime Minister?

Mother: You just might, Margaret (face falls), you just might (swiftly removes plateful of beans)

Voiceover: Millions of little Britons have grown up great knowing Beanz meanz Heinz.

Heinz Baked Beans (6): 1985

My brother’s been really kind to me lately! He’s given me all his comics, his magnifying glass, his favourite poster — he’s even given me his share of Heinz baked beans … genuine too! All of them covered in lovely thick tomato sauce — the business! And me?! I gave him the measles!

Music!Nothing tastes quite like them!
Beans meanz Heinz!Music!

Heinz Baked Beans with Pork Sausages: 1971

Music!Heinz bangers and beans,
Pork sausages, he means!Music!

Heinz Noodle Doodles: 1976

Flexi-disc promo accompanying this advert: “I’m the Noodle Doodle man” sung by Jon Pertwee

Cartoon character tangling with noodle doodles: Music!I’m the Noodle Doodle man!Music!

Voiceover: Heinz Noodle Doodles … food’s never been such fun!

Heinz Salad Cream (1)

Any food tastes supreme
With Heinz Salad Cream!

Heinz Salad Cream (2): early 1970s

Heinz Salad Cream. It's the cream … of salad creams.

Heinz Salad Cream (3): 1984

(A male diner dips a stick of celery which suddenly droops)

No salad is ever going to be fooled by a thin runny salad cream —
because no other salad cream has the unique taste of Heinz.
As any celery worth its salt will tell you!

Heinz 57: sauce and salad cream: early 1960s

Music! Heinz 57, Heinz 57,
You’ve got meals to plan each day,
You and Heinz can make it gay,
Get together right away,
With Heinz 57!Music!

Heinz soups (1): c.1965

Heinz [cream of tomato soup] … for that good soup glow

Heinz soups (2)

Music! It’s a Heinz souper day,
Heinz souper day,
Heinz, souper day.Music!

Heinz soups (3): 1976

With Yogi Bear, advertising Heinz Big Soup

Bigger than the average soup!

Heinz Sandwich Spread

Heinz Sandwich Spread.
The 10-second salad.
Heinz Sandwich Spread.
Gorgeous!

Heinz Spaghetti (1)

What turns a simple snack into a smashing good meal?
Heinz spaghetti, Heinz spaghetti!

Heinz Spaghetti (2)

Heinz spaghetti’s got miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles of taste!

Heinz Spaghetti (3): 1973

Is someone you love a Heinz Spaghetti lover?

Heinz Spaghetti (4): 1982

Music!There’s difficul-ti
And dexteri-ti
Stupidi-ti
And reali-ti
There’s only one ti that’s the best ti!
And that’s Heinz Spaghet-ti, Heinz Spaghet-ti!Music!

There’s no ti like Heinz Spaghet!

Heinz sponge pudding (1): 1960s

Music!So hurry up and taste a Heinz sponge pud,
Heinz pud tastes like a good pud should!Music!

Heinz sponge pudding (2): 1968

It floats!

Heinz tinned salads

Heinz salads.
Are you making the most of your salad days?

Heinz tomato ketchup (1)

Music!Heinz has got the taste that gives us all a thrill:
It don’t run-run-run, it don’t run-run,
Heinz is thick and tasty so it never will,
It don’t run-run-run, it don’t run-run,
Yeh it tastes so fine,
Yeh it tastes divine,
Oh but it takes its time,
It don’t run-run-run, it don’t run-run.Music!

There’s nothing like the rich tomatoey taste of Heinz ketchup.

Heinz Tomato Ketchup (2)

Get it on!

Hellmann’s Mayonnaise (1)

Arthur Mullard sound-alike: Hellman’s — you know the big dollop’s right!

Hellman’s Mayonnaise (2)

What’s better than a sandwich made with thick, luscious, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise?
Two sandwiches!

Music!Bring out the Hellmann’s and bring out the best!Music!

Bring out the Hellmann’s and bring out the best!

Hellmann's Mayonnaise (3): 1973

Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise. It's REAL Mayonnaise.

Homepride flour: 1965

Graded grains make finer flour.

[with famous voice-over artists such as John Le Mesurier]

Homepride flour: 1970s

Music!Oh we do like to grade the grains for Homepride,
Yes we do like to make a finer flour,
Oh we do like to feel the lumps are gone, gone, gone,
’Til it’s nice and smooth … tiddly-om-pom-pom,
Oh we do like to grade the grains for Homepride
And we’ll do it for hour after hour,
So when you want a flour that’s fine
Pick Homepride every time
’Cos graded grains make finer flour.Music!

[Tune: Oh we do Like to be Beside the Seaside]

HP Baked Beans (1): c.1960

Racing driver’s car pulls into the pits

Voiceover: Racing drivers eat HP Baked Beans

Driver roars off.

HP Baked Beans (2): 1960s

Music!HP baked beans
They’re the beans for me.
HP baked beans,
A ll of us agree
What’s the treat we all like best
HP baked beans!Music!

HP Baked Beans (3)

First boy: What you doing, Barry?

Barry: Writing.

First boy: What you writing, Barry?

Barry: Letter.

First Boy: Who’s it to, Barry?

Barry: My mother.

First boy: What’s it say, Barry?

Barry: Dear Mrs Jones, If you don’t give your son, Barry, HP baked beans, he will run away from home. Signed, A Wellwisher.

HP Sauce (1)

HP! You’ve got to admire their sauce!

HP Sauce (2): 1970s

HP sauce — brings your taste buds back to life again!

HP Sauce (3): 1984

(With Frank Bruno)

Voiceover: How to get on the wrong side of Frank Bruno:

(Frank is served a meal without HP sauce — he bangs on the table)

Frank: Frankly I’m not HP.

Voiceover: How to get on the right side of Frank Bruno:

(Frank is given HP sauce — he whistles a few lines of “Happy Days are Here Again”)

Voiceover: Only one sauce can give Frank’s favourite foods the necessary punch!

On screen: HP days are here again!

Jif Lemon

Don’t forget the pancakes on Jif Lemon day!

John West Sild in Tomato Sauce

You’ll be thrilled with Norway sild
They’re delicious and only a shilling a tin.

John West tinned fish

It’s the fish John West reject
That make John West the best!

Kellogg’s Super Noodles: 1982

Music!If you’re not Super Noodle twisting
You don’t know what you’re missing,
Great taste and simple too!
Makes mealtimes really new!
We’re gonna twist
The Kellogg’s Super Noodle twist.Music!

Just add the noodles to boiling water, add the flavour pack and simmer for four minutes.

Music! Come on and … twisting
There’s simply no resisting!Music!

Kellogg’s Super Noodles — add a new twist to mealtimes!

Knorr soup (1): 1964

Don’t say Knorr, say kNorr!

Knorr soup (2): 1960s

[sung by Joan Turner]

Music!You get more soup from a packet of Knorr,
Three bowls more in a packet of Knorr,
You get more soup in a packet of Knorr,
Knorr soup gives you more.Music!

Knorr soup (3): 1977

(Father and son drive home from the match)

Car radio: K-Newport County 9, K-Northampton Town nothing, Watford 2….

Voiceover: Sometimes you can’t wait to get home to a bowl of Knorr crofters thick vegetable soup. Warm and generous with juicy carrots, tender peas, and lots of other vegetables … to make a full pint-and-a-half of thick, satisfying soup.

Son: Hey, Dad — we’ve got K-Newcastle away K-next week!

Dad: I can hardly wait!

Voiceover: Remember our K-name — Knorr!

Knorr sauces

With Knorr sauce … it's a snip!

Knorr Stock Cubes: 1960s

Music!Six little Knorr cubes sitting in a pack,
One made a casserole and never came back.
Another made a beef broth, another made a stew,
Another made a goulash and then there were two.
Two little Knorr cubes, me oh my,
One made a hot pot, another made a pie.
One, two, three, four , five, six – oh heaven!
Better get another pack for only 2/7.Music!

Kraft cheese slices: 1970s

Man with French accent:
You English are so clevair. You make the cheese to fit the bread.

Kraft Dairylea: 1985

Music!My tummy says it’s time for tea
So let’s down tools for Dairylea!
There’s enough for him — and me! and me!
A taste of the country!
I like the taste of butter — I like the taste of cheese —
I like the taste of milk … Music!

They’re all in Dairylea!

Music!Straight from the tub — all mums have found —
There’s so much more to spread around!
It tastes just great — it’s good for you,
A taste of the country!Music!

Kraft Dairylea — kids will eat it till the cows come home!

Lamb (1)

Slam in the lamb!

[British Meat Marketing Board]

Lamb (2)

Music!It was Sharon’s nineteenth birthday
As she got engaged to Ray,
Above the jovial banter
You could hear Ray’s mother say:
“Wot No Meat?”

Wot no meat, wot no meat?
How about a bit of British lamb,
What about a lamb chop, chop, chop, chop, chop
What about a casserole, casserole, casserole,
What about a moussaka?Music!

[British Meat Marketing Board]

Lea and Perrins Worcester Sauce

The Worcester saucerer!

Libby’s evaporated milk: 1970s

When it says Libby’s, Libby’s, Libby’s on the label, label, label
You will like it, like it, like it on your table, table, table.

Limmits: 1974

The Limmits calorie-controlled diet – because you're only human.

Lyons cakes: 1971

Lyons cakes make more of a cake.

McCain Oven Chips: 1984

Now McCain have done it again!
With their tastier, thicker, oven chips!
Lets test them and see:
Are you ready?
(Yeah!!)
Take a chip
Hold it up
Give it a pinch
Smile!
(Ha-ha-ha!)
Pinch another
Lick your lips
Now take a bite
(McCain!!)
New McCain Crisp ’n’ Golden Oven Chips —
you can’t pinch a better chip!

McDougall’s flour (1): 1955

Music!McDougall’s McDougall’s,
They make the finest flour,
The finest purest and the whitest,
That’s McDougall’s flour,
Your pastry is tasty, your cakes are rising too,
And what’s the flour that never varies?
That’s McDougall’s too,
McDougall’s is the one and only flour for you!.Music!

McDougall’s flour (2): 1960s

Music!McDougall’s, McDougall’s, McDougall’s, McDougall’s
Bakes super light, super light, super light,
Because McDougall’s is super sifted flour,
That’s why you and you and you all like it,
McDougall’s, McDougalls super light!Music!

McDougall’s flour (3): early 1970s

At McDougall’s we’ve put a new baking powder into our flour — for an extra light-fingered touch, and an even better rise to all your cakes and sponges. McDougall’s new self-raising flour!

McDougall’s flour (4): 1971

Music!Flour so fine, it flows.Music!

McDougall’s flour (5)

She saw super sifted McDougall’s
In the super snappy shaker
So she shouted “Simply super,
It’s the super snappy shaker,
Let me show you just how useful it can be. See.

You can shake a little flour where you want it,
Pour a little flour where you need it,
You can shake it in your gravies,
You can pour it in your sauces,
And its simply spiffing when you’re frying fish.”

So now she never is without a simply super snappy shaker
Of McDougall’s super sifted on the shelf.

Mary Baker sponge mix

Just add an egg!

Moreton’s Peas

Moreton’s peas are fresh garden peas.

Morton’s Salt

When it rains, it pours.

Nestlé Tip Top canned dessert topping: 1985

(A small boy takes a spoon to a bowl of fruit salad)

Fruit: You can’t start yet! Where’s the Tip Top?

Tip Top: Coming! can’t be everywhere at once!

Fruit: Oooh, smoothly does it … don’t you dare stop! You’re the tops, Tip Top!

Tip Top: I’m not cream, but I certainly taste creamy! I’m off now! Bye!

Fruit: Don’t go!

Tip Top: So many things call for my creamy lightness!

Voice-over: Everything tastes better with Nestlé Tip Top — pour-over topping with a light creamy taste.

Fruit: Music!Whistle-whistle, whistle-whistle Tip Top!Music!

Newfarm eggs: 1960s

Always ask for Newfarm,
Newfarm eggs, fresh from the farm for you!

New Zealand lamb

Look for the sign that says New Zealand.

OK Sauce: c.1960

Blank screen with a pea-sized image which turns into a little round face and expands to fill the entire 14 inch black and white screen, growing fangs

Urchin voice escalating to positively menacing: Oi’m only a little appetite … but when I eat/get near O.K Sauce … Oi get bigger … and Bigger … and BIGGER ….

Outspan oranges (1): c.1960

Two cartoon schoolgirls, presumably sisters, one a bit prim, the other a bit mean-looking, examining their packed lunch

First sister: An Outspan between us, why that's a bit thin …
Second sister (grabbing the orange): Here, I'll eat the inside and leave you the skin!

Outspan oranges (2): 1970s

Grab an Outspan!

Outspan oranges (3): early 1980s

The small ones are more juicy!

Oxo (1): c.1956

Cartoon: a square “bus stop” sign slides down the pole, and a gentleman standing at the stop opens the sign like a small cupboard, reaches in, and pulled out a steaming mug of OXO:

Music!OXO, OXO that’s the name … OXO!Music!

Oxo (2): 1950s

With Harry Corbett and Sooty

Harry: Hello there. Sooty’s just making a stew for my supper. I must say I am not very keen on it: it seems to be all vegetables.
(Sooty whispers in Harry’s ear.)
Oh, that’s different: he’s going to put an Oxo cube into it. Right, crumble it into the pan,, Sooty. Pop the pan on the stove. That’s fine. But you know I don’t feel like waiting. I’m jolly hungry.
(Sooty whispers in Harry’s ear.)
Oh the magic. Of course. Well you tap it with the magic wand, then.
(Sooty takes wand and taps the pan)
That’s it. Did it go? Let me have a test then
(tastes) Ooh, delicious, and what a lovely meaty flavour.

Oxo (3)

A good square meal for three-halfpence. [can anyone verify this?]

Oxo (4): 1958

Katie: Katie speaking. I think it’s time to … … that he can smell the jacket potatoes I’m cooking. A good rich smell is half the secret of cooking, isn’t it? Mmm, pretty tasty, I’d say.
(Calls out to husband): All right, it’s ready.
Did you know you add nine delicious ingredients when you add Oxo?

Philip: Mmm, that smells good. Clever girl!

Katie: You see, the advertisement’s right: Oxo gives a meal man-appeal!

[With “Katie” (Mary Holland) and “Philip” (Richard Clarke, later replaced by Peter Moynihan)]

Oxo (5): 1950s

Music!The flavoury food of savoury fame,
Oxo Oxo is the name. Oxo-o-o-o!Music!

Oxo (6): 1978

Music!Only you can make me smile … again and again,
Only you can chase away … the clouds and the rai-ain,
And I know just what to do —
When you come home — when the day is throu-ough.

Only Oxo does what only Oxo ca-an
Brings a smile to chase away the rain
Only Oxo does what only Oxo ca-an
Only Oxo does it again and again!
Only Oxo does it again and again and again!Music!

Palethorpe’s sausages

Music!P-P-P-Palethorpes, P-P-P-Palethorpes,
They’re the sausages so perfectly primed with pork,
They’re unbeatable, they’re so eatable,
’Cause they’re p-p-p-p-perfectly primed with pork.Music!

Palethorpe’s are famous for their sausages, so perfectly primed with pork.

[Tune: K-K-K-Katy]

Philadelphia cream cheese

A little taste of heaven.

Pickering’s fruit pie filling: 1960s

Music!Pick pick Pickering’s!Music!

Plumrose chopped ham with pork (1)

Japanese guest: I like your plopped ham with chork!

Waitress: O-o-o-h!

Voice-over: Plumrose chopped ham with pork — when somebody special comes to tea!

Plumrose chopped ham with pork (2)

Child running to shop, trying to memorize errand :

Plumrose chopped ham with pork
Plumrose plopped ham with chork
Plumrose hopped chork with pam.

Princes foods (1): c.1970

Princes foods are uncommonly good.

Puffin’s Pilchards (1): 1960s

I am a … puffin,
I catch Pilchards and I put them in a can,
That's why they call them Puffin Pilchards,
Just the job to feed a man

Boys and girls like Puffin Pilchards,
Like to eat them every day,
Mothers too love Puffin Pilchards,
Get so much for what they pay.

So go to … get some pilchards
It's by far the easiest way
To make a meal that's …
… …

Puffin’s Pilchards (2)

Mother serving Puffin Pilchards on toast to the family

Little boy (picky eater): I didn't know pilchards were fish!

Puffin’s Pilchards (3): mid-1970s

Fishermen whose nets are empty open several cans of pilchards and added them to their stew pot
(sung to the tune of the “What shall we do with the drunken sailor?”)

Music!What do you give to a hungry fisherman?
What do you give to a hungry fisherman?
What do you give to a hungry fisherman?
Give him Puffin pilchards!Music!

If there's no fish in the sea, there's fish in a can!

Robertson’s jam: 1969

Have a Robertson’s jam-boree!

Rowntree’s Jelly (1)

Mother takes a moulded jelly from the fridge, child seen through open window … skipping and chanting:

Jelly on a plate,
Jelly on a plate,
Wibble wobble,
Wibble wobble,
Jelly on a plate.

Rowntree’s Jelly (2)

If it’s not Rowntree’s — throw a wobbly!

Ry-king crispbread: 1969

Ry-King is skip-bread!

St Ivel cheese

Don’t say cheese, say Cheddar … by St Ivel.

St Ivel Real yoghurt: 1985

Things aren’t always what they seem —
But Real from St Ivel is real yoghurt and real fruit —
And it tastes creamier than ever before!
St Ivel Real — Real by name, real by nature!

St Ivel Prize low-fat yoghurts: c.1978

The prize guys!

Sarsons vinegar

You know, now’s the time to pickle!
And it’s so easy with Sarsons pickling vinegar in its own pickling jar.
Just soak your peeled onions in salt water for a day.
Rinse and dry, then cover in Sarsons special pickling vinegar.
Make perfect pickles now.
Don’t say vinegar — say Sarsons!

Saxa salt (1)

If food is worth its salt, it’s worth Sax…aaa!

Saxa salt (2)

With Richard Briers

Everyone knows, Saxa flows!

Shippams paste: 1950s

Music!Shippams paste has the finest tradition
That is why we are in good condition,
Always have Shippams paste on your table
And enjoy Shippams paste for your tea.Music!

Sifta Salt: 1950s

With “Sifta Sam”, a cartoon sailor:

Jolly good salt!

Ski yoghurt: c.1960

Music!Ski, the full-of-fitness food,
Feel fit for anything.Music!

Smash instant potato (1): 1973

Music! For mash get Smash!Music!

Smash instant potato (2): 1974

Martian: Captain, something strange has appeared on the Earth scanner.

Captain: Let me observe. What is this place?

Martian: It is called Huddersfield.

Captain: Do you realize what this means, gentlemen?

The Martians: What does it mean?

Captain: It means there is intelligent life on Earth.

Martian: Did you discover what the Earth people eat?

Captain: They eat a great many of these (shows potatoes).
They peel them with their metal knives
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
They boil them for twenty of their minutes
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
Then they smash them all to bits
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
They are clearly the most primitive people.

Smedley’s Peas

When it’s time to make a choice,
Listen to the little voice …
(in a whisper) Smedley’s … Smedley’s … Smedley’s….

Spam (1): 1960s

Music!Spam, spam, spam,
It’s the only one,
Come and taste the pork,
Taste the pork and taste the ham
In spam,
It’s the only one,
Spam,
In the blue and yellow can!Music!

Spam (2)

There’s more than one way to slice it.

Spam (3): 1972

Have a Spam time soon!

Spry cooking lard: 1960s

Take soft quick Spry
And in a wink of an eye
You have apple pie!

Spry cooking oil

Spry — Crisp and dry!

Surprise Peas 1960s

Man with farmer’s voice: Surprise peas: better than peas from your own garden.

Sutherland's Spread (1): 1970s

Sutherlands, Sutherlands,
Sumptuous Sutherlands,
Sumptuous Sutherlands,
Sutherlands spread!

Sutherland's Spread (2): c.1980

Music!There's so much more salmon in Sutherland's spread
Than you'll find in any kind of paste.
There's so much more salmon in Sutherland's spread –
You can tell the difference by the taste.
There's so much more ham(?), so much more crab(?),
There's such a lot more of what you're buying it for
Than you find in any kind of paste.Music!

Sweetex Plus: 1985

The first time you try new Sweetex Plus you’ll notice something different — Its taste!
You see, Sweetex Plus is no ordinary sweetener!
It’s sweetness at its purest, completely free of calories, with no lingering aftertaste!
So, if all you want is the sweetness, pick up a pack of New Sweetness Plus.
It’s the sweeter sweetener!

Tabasco sauce

The little pepper-upper

Thornton’s Chocolate

Chocolate heaven since 1911!

Trex: early 1970s

Trex … the best cooking fat made!

Turkey: Christmas 1984

We may not get snow, you can’t be sure of golden angels …
But Christmas just isn’t Christmas without a turkey!

Tyne Brand Main Meals: 1985

We asked people to test new Tyne Brand frozen meals for one.
1. I was pleasantly surprised at the amount actually — in the erm meal itself, and so were the family!
2. The spaghetti Bolognese was as good as any spaghetti I’ve had … I think anywhere really!
3. I have to agree with him — it really was excellent!
4. They all look good on the plate — good balance of both meat and vegetables … herbs and spices!
5. The quantity and the quality of it for 99p is very good value!
New Tyne Brand Main Meals for one — they’re a meal not a mouthful!

Tyne Brand stuffed pork roll

Tyne Brand stuffed pork roll — other cold meat salads are boring. Look, lean chopped pork and tasty sage & onion stuffing stuffed down the middle.

“Heh heh heh heh.”

Mmm — it tastes delicious! Next time you make a salad get stuffed …

“Hey!”
… pork roll — from Tyne Brand. It makes a simple salad sensational!

“Give over.”

Uncle Ben's Long Grain Rice

Uncle Ben's Long Grain Rice.
You can count on it, every time.

Vesta curries

Try Vesta’s new Beef Biryani: a rather splendid Indian.

Viota Cake Mix: 1973

Viota cakes always rise just right!

Wall’s pork pies: 1970s

You can't make a Wall's pork pie out of a sow's ear!

Wall’s sausages

I’m meaty, fry me!

Wall’s Vienetta Dessert: 1980

One slice is never enough!

Whitworth’s dried fruit: 1960s

Music!In days of old,
Fruits were sold
That had to be washed at home;
But now they are sold ready washed by Whitworths,
Whitworths are a girl’s best friend!Music!

[Tune: “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”]

Young’s fish: 1970s

Music!Dance to your daddy
My little laddy,
Dance to your daddy
My little lamb.
You shall have a fishy
On a little dishy,
You shall have a fishy
When the boat comes in!Music!

Adverts wanted

Baby food (Nestles, Milupa)

Batchelor’s and Whitworth Marrowfat Peas

Bird’s custard

Bovril

Brown & Polson custard

Cross & Blackwell soups

Daddies Sauce

Fray Bentos corned beef (with Bully the bull)

Gale’s honey

Hartleys jam and jelly

Heinz Alphabetti

Heinz spaghetti hoops

Heinz sponge pudding

Jif dessert toppings

Kraft Cracker Barrel and other cheeses

Mazola cooking oil

Meat Marketing Board

Mrs Peek’s Christmas Pudding

Paxo stuffing

Prunes

St Ivel yoghurt

Slimming: Ayds and Limmits

Soya products

Surprise Peas

Tunnock’s tea cakes

Tyne Brand meats, e.g. faggots

Vesta Chow Mein

Vesta Paella

© Stephanie Jenkins & Joan Williams
2006–2016

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