Drinks (alcoholic)
There were virtually no advertisements for spirits into the 1960s (due to a secret cartel between the manufacturers)
Babycham (1)
[with a baby chamois deer]
Babycham? I’d love a Babycham,
The genuine champagne perry.
Babycham (2)
Mine’s a Babycham!
Babycham (3)
A man in a bar asks for a Babycham, and it goes very quiet and everyone looks on in horror
Cool, tough-looking black guy: Hey, I'll have a Babycham!”
Then everybody wants one.
Babycham (4): 1984
Diamond rings and pearls
Might suit other girls,
I think they may be sham.
Don't we all discover
Stars above may shimmer
But nothing sparkles like a Babycham,
Don't we all discover
Stars above may shimmer
But nothing
sparkles like a Babycham.
Barbican alcohol-free lager (c.1980)
Laurie McMenemy (football manager):
Have you tried this new Barbican?
Brewed like an ordinary lager…
and then they take all the alcohol out!
(forces down a gulp):
It’s great, man!
Bell’s Scotch Whisky: 1960s
Afore ye go!
Boddingtons
The cream of Manchester!
Bols Advocaat
Bols Advocaat — it’s a lovely little drink!
Budweiser (1)
The genuine article!
Budweiser (2)
Bring out your best — Bud light
Budweiser (3)
For all you do, this Bud’s for you!
Budweiser (4)
Budweiser — the King of beers!
Budweiser (5)
When you say “Budweiser” you've said it all!
Budweiser (6)
This Bud’s for you. True.
Bulmer’s Strongbow Cider (1)
[William Tell shooting apple off his son’s
head: but what were the words?]
Bulmer’s Strongbow Cider (2)
Live to loaf!
Bulmers Cider (1968)
Cider you remember
Campari: 1977
Gentleman: It’s very odd, I don't even know your name — but after this one Campari and soda, I feel I almost know you. May I freshen your glass? Er, soda of course?
Cockney girl: No, lemonade!
Gentleman: Campari and lemonade?!
Cockney girl: Yeah, nice colour innit?
Voice-over: Campari with soda, with lemonade, with tonic — but always with pleasure.
Gentleman: Were you truly wafted here from paradise?
Cockney girl: No, Luton airport!
[with Lorraine Chase]
Carling Black Label (1)
Hey Mabel — Black Label!
Carling Black Label (2)
I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
Carling Black Label (3)
Your best bet for a fuller flavour — Carling Black Label lager.
Carling Black Label (4): 1981
Carling (Carling Black label)
I've got it right — my Jack’s favourite one!
He says it saves him money!
Carling Black Label
I've got this — he’s got that!
I've got it right — end of chat!
Carling Black Label — get it right!
[A variant commercial has: “We've got it right: no frills, no fuss, it’s OK by us!” as the spoken lines.]
Carlsberg lager: 1973
Mankind sometimes sees things in a rather peculiar way.
We often admire works of art almost because of their imperfections.
(a few bars of the unfinished symphony played here)
The Danes however, believe there are one … or two exceptions.
(Two pints of Carlsberg shown)
Carlsberg! probably the best lager in the world!
Cherry B
Cherry B, Cherry B, Cherry B,
It's the [something] drink with the (zing, zing, zing)
Cherry B, Cherry B, Cherry B,
It's the [?only] drink for me!
Cherry Heering liqueur
Very cheering, Cherry Heering!
Cinzano Bianco (1)
Of all the bars in the world, you had to walk into mine.
Cinzano Bianco (2): 1978
[Spanish restaurant: Leonard Rossiter as “Nebbish” opposite Joan Collins as “Melissa “]
Nebbish: Erm, do you have a Cinzano of some sort, por favor?
Waiter: Yes sir, there is Cinzano Rosso, Dry, Bianco, and Rosé.
Nebbish: Ah, the complete set! I'll have a Cinzano Bianco — shaken not stirred hah! Gracias! Aah! How they still achieve that blend of herbs and spices, I'll never know!
Melissa: Hello!
Nebbish: Ah, Melissa darling — you're early! [Looks at his watch and spills his drink down Melissa’s front] Would you like a Cinzano?
Melissa: No thank you — I've just had one!
Cinzano Bianco (3)
[Aeroplane: Leonard Rossiter as “Nebbish” opposite Joan Collins as “Melissa “]
Stewardess: Your Cinzano Bianco, Signora.
Melissa: Thank you.
Nebbish: Ah yes, gracias.
Stewardess: Ah due?
Nebbish: On, no, no, no, no, mine was a Cinzano as well…. Ah, now that’s better. Oh, can't you just smell those Italian wines, suffused with herbs and spices from four continents!
Melissa (in unison): … suffused with herbs and spices from four continents!
Nebbish: I'm being boring. [Knocks into Melissa] Oh, sorry. Sorry. [Tips Melissa’s seat right back] Getting your head down, dear? Jolly good idea.
Voiceover: From the House of Cinzano: Cinzano Bianco.
Coates Cider
Coates comes up from Somerset,
Where the cider apples grow,
There’s nothing like sweet cider
To make a party go.
[Understood to have been sung by Adge Cutler and The Wurzels]
Cockburn's Vintage Port
(Scene: Port wine cellar in the Douro Valley)
Elderly local man (subtitles are used): When do you think it will be ready?
Cellar man: Five … maybe six years.
Elderly local: So soon?!
Voiceover: Cockburn's Vintage Port — better late than never!
Cointreau (1)
The juice of or-an-ges, ripened in the midday sun.
Cointreau (2): 1974
Thees Cointreau and ice is like zee warmth of we French and zee cool of you Engleesh…..
Voilà! zee ice she melts!
Courage Beer (1)
It’s what your right arm’s for!
Courage Beer (2)
Take Courage!
Courage Best
Mine’s a pint of Best, gertcha, Courage Best!
Courage AK Bitter [?]: 1970s
Two men are sitting in a bar
Voice-over: Both these men fancied a change from their usual pint. [Name of first man] asks for a [?Courage AK Bitter], while [name of second man] fancied a crème de coconut, shandy lime, with a stick of celery and topped with three maraschino cherries.
Croft Original Sherry: 1985
Bertie: You know Jeeves — there’s only one snag about spending the weekend here with Lord Glastonbury …
Jeeves: His Lordship’s sherry, Sir?
Bertie: Absolutely Jeeves!
Jeeves: That’s why, Sir, I took the liberty of bringing a bottle of your Croft Original.
Bertie: Oh Jeeves! Top hole! Beats me why the old buffer doesn't get some in!
Jeeves: Well, Glastonbury is very set in his ways, Sir. I fear he regards a cream sherry like Croft Original— with its light delicate colour — as somewhat too modern for him!
Bertie: Sheer nectar Jeeves! Compared to this jolly old brown stuff, Croft’s a clear winner! I say Jeeves: clear winner! That’s a joke!
Jeeves: Very nearly, Sir!
Voice-over: Croft Original Pale Cream Sherry — one instinctively knows when something is right!
Cutty Sark Whisky (1): 1973
Don't give up the ship!
Cutty Sark Whisky (2)
Live a Cutty above!
Davenport’s Beer at Home: 1960s
Beer at home means Davenports!
That’s the beer!
Lots of cheer!
The finest malt with hops and yeast,
Turns a snack into a feast.
Straight from breweries to your home,
Why collect?
We'll deliver!
Soon you'll know why folks all say:
“Beer at home means DAVENPORTS “!
De Kuyper cherry brandy
(Seasonal Christmas UK TV Promo, c.1966)
This year buy cherry brandy from Ke Duyper … Kuyp Deer! … er Keep Dyar! … (ahem) …
This year buy cherry brandy from De Kuyper!"
Dewar’s Scotch Whisky
It never varies.
Double Diamond (1): 1950s
Amber bright, plenty of body!
Double Diamond — the beer the men drink!
Double Diamond (2): 1968
A Double Diamond works wonders,
Works wonders, works wonders,
A Double Diamond works wonders,
So drink one today!
[Tune: “There’s a hole in my bucket “]
Double Diamond (3)
I'm only here for the beer: it’s Double Diamond!
Double Maxim
Oh, pour me a Double Maxim,
The one with the special flavour,
Oh, pour me a Double Maxim,
The greatest of beers!
Oh we all love a Double Maxim,
The one with the special flavour,
Oh we all love a Double Maxim,
The greatest of beers!
Dubonnet
(1) Dubonnet, s'il vous plaît.
(2) Do 'ave a Dubonnet.
Emva Cream Sherry: 1983
[One of a series of Emva adverts starring “Hinge and Bracket “]
Dame Hilda Bracket: (Singing at the piano) Tra-la-la, cough, cough.
Dr Evadne Hinge:You sound in need of lubrication!
Hilda: Lubrication dear?! I'm no Morris Minor dear!
Evadne: No, but something rich, warming — Emva Cream perhaps?
Hilda: Emva Cream! … Delicious! I feel I can hit a top C and hold it for hours!
Evadne: Well, don't expect me to accompany you!
Hilda: Oh no dear, and for high C’s I shall choose a sailor! Ha-ha!
Voice-over: Emva Cream — by appointment to the upper bracket!
Emva Cream Sherry (2): 1983
(Evadne is at the piano — Hilda enters the room)
Hilda: That’s a pretty piece dear!
Evadne: It’s Verdi’s Drinking Song dear!
Hilda: Ah-hah! and … you want your Emva Cream don't you?
Evadne: Frankly, I thought you’d never ask!
Hilda: Oh sorry dear … patience is a virtue as well as an opera, ha-ha-ha!
Evadne: Mm, delicious Emva Cream dear — such a pleasure after wrestling with Verdi for hours!
Hilda: Who-o won?
Voice-over: Emva Cream Cyprus sherry — by appointment to the upper bracket!
Flowers Fine Ales
Always pick Flowers!
Flowers Keg Bitter
For the best picket in a brew flade, pick Flowers (Stanley Unwin)
Foster’s lager (1)
Strewth! There’s a bloke down there with no strides on!”
[Paul Hogan at the ballet]
Foster’s (2)
Scene: London Underground. Paul Hogan walks past a Japanese tourist, who is looking at a map
Japanese tourist: Excuse me. Do you know the way to Cockfosters?
Paul Hogan: Yeah. Drink it warm , mate!
Foster’s lager (3): 1981
(A group of Greek men are sea-fishing from a rocky pier)
Paul Hogan: G’day!
This takes me back to me shark fishing days … back in Oz.
Wrestle with one of those fellas for a few rounds and it really sets you up for a pint of the golden throat charmer!
(Drinks from a pint glass labelled Foster’s … while the fishermen, to great excitement, land a huge fish)
Scuse me mate — mind if I borrow some of your bait?
(Takes the prized fish and puts it on a hook … ready to cast)
Ta sport!
Voiceover: Foster’s — the Australian for lager!
Foster’s lager (3): 1984
Hogan: What’s that, Fred?
Fred: Morris dancing.
Hogan: Which one’s Maurice?
[Paul Hogan sitting outside an English country pub]
Gordon’s Gin
(1) It’s got to be Gordon’s!
(2) Born London 1769
Greenall Whitley beer: 1970s
I wish I was in Greenall Whitley land,
Where hearts are warm
And beer is cool,
The girl I left behind,
Perhaps you think of me, as I think of you,
The jokes, the warmth, the fun, the girl behind the bar,
But most of all, Greenall Whitley’s, most of all I'm missing you,
Some day I'm going back, to the taste I know so well.
Guinness
(1) Guinness is good for you!
(2) My goodness, My Guinness!
(3) See what one or toucan do!
(4) Good things come to those who wait.
Haig whisky
Don't be vague: ask for Hague!
Harp lager (1)
I've got this friend called Malcolm, well I wouldn't say he’s tight,
But his wallet would make a quiet place for moths to spend the night,
He’s first out of the taxi and last into the pub,
Then says “I’d like to buy a drink but” (and here’s the rub)
He’s “just a little short right now” and could he “have a sub? “
I stood him for another and he swore he’d “get them in”
Then, going over to the mic, I announced above the din:
“Tonight is Malcolm’s birthday and the drinks are all on him.”
Harp — stays sharp to the bottom of the glass.
Harp lager (2)
It’s the full 43% Irish!
Harp Lager (3)
Harp puts out the fire!
Harveys Bristol Cream (1): 1970s
The best sherry in the world.
Harveys Bristol Cream c.mid-1980s
Class in a glass.
Heineken (1)
Drink, drink, drink your Heineken
[Parody of Men’s Chorus from “The Student Prince “: what were the rest of the words?]
Heineken (2)
How refreshing, how Heineken.
Heineken (3)
In his dairy in Switzerland, Hans Schnitzel makes magnificent cheeses. The holes in them are works of art! But today Hans is about to be very cheesed off, because his son Peter’s very first cheese contains not a single, solitary hole! Obviously, Peter’s hole-making skill lacks refreshment.
(Hans reaches for two cans of Heineken and hands one to Peter)
Fortunately, his father knows an old remedy … the cold Heineken. Now, fully refreshed, Peter prepares another cheese. Let’s come back in six months.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
Ah! sure enough, the cheese is good and hole-some!
Only Heineken can do this — because it refreshes the parts other beers cannot reach, thus making Peter feel a hole lot better!
Heineken: 1984
Scene: The School of Street Credibility. Ron, the voice tutor (played by Bryan Pringle) points to a board which says: “The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta” and is trying to teach a posh girl (played by Sylvestra La Touzel) how to say it in Cockney.
Posh girl: The water in Ma-York-ah doesn't taste like what it ought to.
Ron: No! no, no, no! The wart-er in Ma-jaw-ca don't taste like what it oughta!
Posh girl: The water in Ma-York-a doesn't taste quite how it should?
Ron: Ma-jaw-ca!
Posh girl: Ma-York-ah?
Ron: Ma-jaw-w-ca!
Posh girl: Ma-York-ah?
An exasperated Ron: 'Oy Del — any danger of some refreshment in 'ere?
Del: 'Ere y'are — get yer laughin' gear round that! (hands a can of Heineken to the girl)
Posh Girl: Oh golly! …. The wart-er in Majawca (Ron: Wassat?) don't taste like what it oughta. Oh gosh! The wart-er in Ma-jaw-ca don't taste like what it oughta! (Sniff)
Ron: She’s crackin'! She’s only cracked it!
Del: Yah, absolutely Ron!
Voice-over: Heineken — refreshes the parts what other beers cannot reach!
[A parody of Pygmalion or My Fair Lady, voted one of the best UK ads ever in a Channel 4 poll. “Majawca” (for Majorca) has stuck with many Brits ever since.]
Hemeling lager
Wouldn't you rather be Hemeling?
Hofmeister lager
For great lager, follow the bear!
Holsten Pils: c.1983
(Griff Rhys-Jones in one of the black and white, well-loved “Old Movies'” Holsten adverts (1983-88) . The adverts featured black and white remakes of famous film stars, and in this one Nobby was Humphrey Bogart)
Griff: Hello Nobby! I brought you some Holsten Pils — most of the sugar turns to alcohol you know!
Nobby: Funny, us three back together again!
Griff: Yeh, you, me and a bottle of Holsten Pils. I'll save this for you until you get out … how long is that?
Nobby: Nine more years and six months in this hole!
Griff: Mm, shame to let it go flat then!
(Nobby is taken away by the prison guard)
Griff calls out: I'll bring you another one to look at next week Nobby! Cheers, cheers!
John Smith’s: c.1983
Go and have a pint of magic.
Go and have a pint of magic.
Smooth, dark and satisfying — John Smith’s magic!
Go and have a pint of magic
John Smith's beer: 1984
Got me LA shirt and me disco trousers
All topped off with an Elvis quiff
The night is young, and I smell like a surfer –
Got some mates to go out with …
Got a mate called Jones and a mate called Brown –
And now I've got a mate called Smith!
[Tune:Stop the Cavalry]
John Smith’s lager: 1984
Say hello to El Billo, El Jimmo, and El Siddo
After two weeks in the sun
I think we’re nearly done
But me two and a half twister’s gone a bit skew whiff –
So I chat this senorita
By the name of Juanita,
But her sister Margarita’s
Who I end up with.
She says I drive her frantic
But her shoulders are gigantic!
And I really miss my mate called Smith!
John Smith’s lager — with that little bite bueno!
It’s not easy for a fella
Facing mountains of paella
And be sitting in a cellar –
Full of sangria.
Well they never let you near
And it’s time that we weren't ‘ere,
So we’re off to see our mate
At the local for a jar.
When you’ve ‘ad enough of jets
And clickin’ castanets …
You’re glad to see your mate called Smith!
[Tune: Stop the Cavalry]
John Smith’s Yorkshire Bitter: 1983
(Two men and a dog in the pub)
Like your new dog Arkwright! Here boy — up-up — down — sit — heel — fetch … don't do much does 'e?
Arkwright: Fancy a drop of John Smith’s?
(The dog springs to life, jumps up, spins, turns cartwheels, juggles …)
Arkwright: He just needs a bit of motivation!
Voice-over: John Smith’s Bitter — a tough act to follow!
Johnny Walker Black Label Whisky
If you want to impress someone, put him on your Black list!
Look in at the local
(with Mr & Mrs Bobby Moore)
Bobby: Tina’s not the best dart player in the world, but she enjoys a game while she’s waiting for me. After a match we often meet our wife in the local: it’s a nice friendly place. Tina reckons I’ve rigged the darts. It’s not true. Anyway, it’s great to get together for an evening out.
Voiceover: Like Mr & Mrs Bobby Moore, look in at the local!
Mackeson (1)
When old Ned Dyson fell off the church steeple,
the first thing he said was “force a drop of Mackeson between me lips “.
Drop! ha-ha-ha — he didn't leave a drop in the bottle!
Next thing he was up on his feet.
Well, Mackeson would put anybody on their feet
It looks good, tastes good, and by golly it does you good.
Mackeson — beautiful
[Bernard Miles]
Mackeson (2)
Mackeson, Mackeson, makes you feel so good:
Enjoy life, enjoy life, exactly as you should!
Mackeson Milk Stout
It does you double good!
Malibu (1)
The sun always shines when it pours!
Malibu (2): 1985
(Young chap is chatting-up a beautiful girl in a bar)
We’d better hurry if we’d like another, they close at … er … ten-thirty!
To waiter: Malibu on the rocks and … er … and one with pineapple.
To girl: Did you know that it… er… comes from a lost island paradise? Oh yes! Apparently, the Malibu islanders blended the finest white rum with tropical coconuts — as an offering to their Gods. In fact — I'm thinking of shooting my next movie on Malibu Island. I'll call a cab….. chauffeur’s night off.
Waiter to girl: Huh — you didn't believe that did you?
Girl: No-o-o! I know you close at eleven!
Voice-over: Malibu — it comes from paradise and tastes like heaven!
Mann’s Brown Ale
Mann’s is the best brown ale,
Best brown ale, best brown ale,
Mann’s is the best brown ale,
Let’s have one now.
Say “Mann’s brown, Mann’s brown. “
Say “Mann’s brown, Mann’s brown. “
Mann’s is the best brown ale,
Let’s have one now.
Martini: 1971
Any time any place, anywhere,
There’s a wonderful world we can share,
It’s the right one, the bright one,
It’s Martini.
Martini & Rossi vermouth
For people who share a taste for excitement!
Newcastle Brown
Sung by Owen Brannigan in a Geordie accent. Scene: a small cosy bar
If you want a beer that’s perfection indeed
I give you a guide to fulfilling your need,
At home by the fireside, in club or in bar
The sign of good taste is the famous blue star.
It’s the strong beer, it’s the bottled beer
With the North’s biggest sale,
For complete satisfaction
Newcastle Brown Ale,
(repeat on falling notes) Newcastle Brown Ale.
Oranjeboom
Oranjeboom, Oranjeboom,
Oranjeboom lager,
Oranjeboom, Oranjeboom,
It’s a flavour not a tune,
Oranjeboom boo-boo-boo-boo boom.
Piat d'Or
Les français adore
Le Piat d'Or.
Sandeman’s Port
The Sandeman Man used to wear a black hat and a long black cloak. All you saw of him was the cloak swirling around as he was chased. When he was finally caught all that was left was the cloak and hat in a heap on the floor, and a bottle of Sandemans port.
Seagers Egg Flip: 1950s
Don't flop — have a flip!
Skol
Skol lager, ?lovely lager, lager Skol.
Skol lager (2): Early 1980s
(An impromptu party at Harry’s place)
Harry has eight cans of Skol.
He drinks one himself, then gives one each to Bert and Jack.
Then Jim pops in with four more cans — but he’s got Val and Samantha with
him — and they all have one each.
Then Paul and Malcolm turn up with a couple of friends — and they drink
another four.
Being a Skolar, Harry has calculated that he’s still able to enjoy a quiet
can of Skol …
… and give Samantha one.
When you know lager … you're a Skolar!
Skol lager (3): 1985
(Hagar the Horrible and his many pals are in the pub singing)
Skol, Skol, Skol, Skol,
Skol, Skol, Skol, Skol,
Skol, Skol, Skol, Skol
Skol, Skol, Skol, Skol
Skol, Skol, Skol, Skol, ….
Hagar the Horrible (to the only person not joining in): Why aren't you singing our drinking song?
Non-singer: Ermm .. .I've forgotten the words!
(He’s sent off with the song sheet)
Skol, Skol, Sk…, erm ….
[Tune: Monty Python’s Spam song]
Smirnoff Vodka
It leaves you breathless!
Stella Artois: 1980
At Stella Artois we've never contemplated using cheap hops.
We've never, never been tempted to use cheap barley —
And as for maturing our lager in a hurry … perish the thought!
Yet, apparently, some people still can't get used to our prices!
Stella Artois! Reassuringly expensive!
[Background music: “We're in the money “]
Stone’s bitter
It goes down great guns!
[The bottle had a cannon on the label]
Taunton cider: 1978
Arthur Moore, master cider maker, came to Taunton in 1911. I suppose you could say he’s responsible for the ciders we sell today, because though old Arthur’s long gone now, his art, and it is an art, remains.
Autumn Gold and Blackthorn — from The Taunton Cider Company —
where I'm happy to say the cider-maker’s art is still recognised.
Tetley’s Bitter
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
Tia Maria
See into the dark.
Tia Maria (2)
Tia Maria! the smooth coffee liqueur from sunny Jamaica, Tia maria!
Warninks Advocaat
Advocaat, Advocaat
Lovely Warninks Advocaat.
Eveninks and morninks,
I drink Warninks — Warninks Advocaat
Watney’s ale
What we want is Watney’s!
Watney’s Brown,Watney’s Pale,
What we want is Watney’s Ale!
Watney’s Red Barrel (1)
Red Barrel! Red Barrel!
Red Barrel men say “The same again “,
It’s first-class beer.
Watney’s Red Barrel (2): c.1970
The Red Revolution.
Watney’s Red Barrel (3): c. 1970
Roll out the barrel!
Watney's Special: 1970s
(with Peter Cook as Mr Wisty)
There's a terrific draught in here.
Whitbread Trophy Bitter
Whitbread (big head) Trophy Bitter (the pint that thinks it’s a quart)
It’s got the body, the body that satisfies
It can't be modest no matter how it tries
'Cos it’s the Whitbread Bitter, Trophy Bitter —
The best that you ever bought (give him a trophy)
Whitbread, Whitbread, Trophy Bitter
The pint that thinks it’s a quart!
Woodpecker Cider
Woodpecker Cider,
Hereford lightning,
Clean and bright.
What a refreshing change!
Worthington E (1)
Worthington E’s the Beer,
There’s satisfaction here,
It’s the Worthington taste that satisfies,
Your worthy Worthington .
Worthington E (2): 1973
We make E the way you like it — really like it!
E's so easy!
Bailey’s Irish Cream
Benedictine liqueur
Bell’s Whisky (Was “Afore ye go” used on television?)
Blue Nun
Booth’s Gin
Dewar’s White Label Scotch whisky
Emva Cream
Gaymer’s cider
Gilbey’s gin
Gordon’s gin
Ind Coope
Malibu
Noilly Prat vermouth (Pete Murray at the Hilton)
Pimm’s No. 1
Sandeman port and sherry
Smirnoff
Tavern Keg bitter
Tia Maria
Top Deck shandy
Truman’s beer
Any champagne adverts?
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