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Theme songs/lyrics/intros of
UK TV programmes 1955–1990


Neighbours (first shown in UK in 1985)

MusicNeighbours, everybody needs good neighbours —
With a little understanding, you can find the perfect blend!
Neighbours should be there for one another —
That’s when good neighbours become good friends!Music


New Faces (1974 — ITV)

Music Yesterday I was happy to play
For a penny or two a song
Till a fellah in a black sedan
Took a shine to my one-man-band,
He said, “We got plans for you, you’d never dream,”

You’re a star, you’re a star,
A lamé suit and a new guitar,
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cos you’re a star

You’re a star, superstar,
On you go, it’s your finest hour,
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cos you’re a star

I signed my name and the Friday came
When the song that I used to sing
Came out on a forty-five,
I sang it on the TV live,
Yes, the music played and I heard the people say …

You’re a star, you’re a star,
A lamé suit and a new guitar,
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cos you’re a star

You’re a star, superstar,
On you go, it’’ your finest hour,
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cause you’re a star

Well, the record did fine
And there came a time
When I bought my own black sedan
And a piece of land for a home
In St George’s Hill — that’s where they all live, ya know

When I’m low, I’m a-happy to go
To the street where I used to play,
Even though it makes me laugh
To have to sign my autograph
For the folks who used to drop me just to dance.

Now they all say …

You’re a star, you’re a star
A lamé suit and a new guitar
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cos you’re a star

You’re a star, superstar
On you go, it’s your finest hour
And I know that you’ll go far
’Cos you’re a star.

Yes, I’m a star.

You’re a star, you’re a star.
A lamé suit …… to fade

[Tune: You’re a Star by Carl Wayne of The Move]


Nine to Five (the sitcom) (1982)

MusicTumble outa bed, and stumble to the kitchen,
Pour myself a cup of ambition,
Yawn and stretch and try to come to life.

Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin’
Out on the street the traffic starts jumpin’
With folks like me — on the job from nine to five.

Workin’ nine to five — what a way to make a livin’
Barely gettin’ by — it’s all takin’ and no givin’
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it!

Nine to five — for service and devotion
You would think that I — would deserve a fair promotion,
Want to move ahead — but the boss won’t seem to let me,
I swear sometimes — that man is out to get me!

Nine to fi-i-ve!Music


Noddy

MusicNoddy (Noddy),
The little man with the red and yellow car,
Noddy (Noddy),
His tinkling bell means he’s the happiest little fellow in all Toyland.
There’s Big Ears and Teddy and Mr Plod
And all his special friends,
He sets out on adventures then he’ll take you home again.
Noddy (Noddy)
Noddy
Noddy.Music


Not only … But Also

[Here is one version of Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore’s improvised outro]

MusicNow is the time to say goodbye.
(Goodbye)
Now is the time to yield a sigh.
(Yield it, yield it)
Now is the time to wend our way-eee
Until we meet again-eee
Some sunny day.

Goodbye, goodbye, we’re leaving you, skiddlydye.
Goodbye, we wish a fond goodbye, fa-ta-ta-ta-ta, fa-ta-ta-ta.
Goodbye, goodbye, we’re leaving you, skiddlydum.
Goodbye, we wish a fond goodbye, la-la-ta-ta-ta.
La dah da, lah la la etc.
[Repeat].Music

[Spoken] You know there comes a time in everyone’s life when they must say goodbye. That time is now, and so with tears in either eye we say goodbye, as people have said throughout the years. We leave this mortal coil on which we strut and fret our weary ways, as Shakespeare put it, God bless him. What a wonderful old chap Shakespeare was, bald but sexy.

Take that rhythm away with its wonderful melodies.
Oh, goodbye they say.

MusicGoodbye, goodbye, we’re leaving you goodbye,
Goodbye, we wish you all …. a fond …goodbye.Music


Oh Boy (1958–1959: ITV)

OK — come and get it — it’s Oh Boy!

MusicAt the TV hop
That’s where we’re gonna bop,
At the TV show,
That’s where we’re gonna go,
So put your books away
And come along with me!Music

(Repeat)


The Odd Couple (1970s)

On November 13th, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife. Deep down he knew she was right, but he also knew that someday he would return to her.

With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his childhood friend: Oscar Madison. Some time earlier Madison’s wife had thrown him out … requesting that he never return.

Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

[The TV show starred Jack Klugman as Oscar Madison and Tony Randall as Felix Unger]


Only Fools and Horses

MusicStick a pony in me pocket,
I’ll fetch the suitcase from the van,
Cos if you want the best ’uns,
But you don’t ask questions,
Then brother, I’m your man.
’Cos where it all comes from is a mystery,
It’s like the changin’ of the seasons,
And the tides of the sea.
But here’s the one that’s drivin’ me beserk,
Why do only fools and horses work?
La-lala-la-la la-lala-lala-la
La-lala-la-la la-lala-lala-la.Music

Closing lyrics:
MusicWe’ve got some half-price cracked ice
And miles and miles of carpet tiles,
TVs, deep freeze, and David Bowie LPs,
Ball games, gold chains, whassa-names, and at a push,
Some Trevor Francis track suits from a mush in Shepherds Bush,
Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush….
No income tax, no V.A.T.
No money back, no guarantee,
Black or white, rich or broke,
We’ll cut prices at a stroke.
God bless Hooky Street,
Viva Hooky Street,
Long live Hooky Street,
C’est magnifique, Hooky Street,
Magnifique, Hooky Street,
Hooky Street — Hooky Street — Hooky Street.Music


The Osmonds (1972)

Alan, Wayne, Merril, Jay, Donny … and Jimmy!
The Osmonds!

MusicOne bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch girl,
Oh, give it one more try before you give up on love,
One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch girl,
Oh, I don’t care what they say,
I don’t care what you heard.

I could make you happy baby,
Satisfy you too (satisfy you girl),
But how can I if you won’t give me a chance
To prove my love to you,
Won’t you just give me one little chance (one little chance now),
I’ll give you my guarantee that you won’t be hurt again.

One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch girl
Oh, give it one more try before you give up on love … to fadeMusic

[Tune: One Bad Apple]


Last updated:
8 August, 2011

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