Theme songs/lyrics/intros of
UK TV programmes 1955–1985

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Magpie (1969)

One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl and
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told,
— M-a-a-agpie!

Eight ’s a wish and
Nine’s a kiss
Ten is a bird you must not miss
Eight’s a wish and
Nine’s a kiss
Ten is a bird you must not miss,
— M-a-a-agpie!

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MASH

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realise and I can see….

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate
But now I know that it’s too late, and…

Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please…
[More]

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Maverick

Who is the tall, dark stranger there?
Maverick is the name,
Ridin’ the trail to who knows where,
Luck is his companion,
Gamblin’ is his game,
Smooth as the handle on a gun,
Maverick is the name,
Wild as the wind in Oregon,
Blowin’ up a canyon,
Easier to tame.

Riverboat ring your bell,
Fare thee well Annabe,
Luck is the lady that he loves the best,
Natchez to New Orleans,
Livin’ on jacks and queens,
Maverick is a legend of the west.

Riverboat ring your bell,
Fare thee well Annabel,
Luck is the lady that he loves the best,
Natchez to New Orleans,
Livin’ on jacks and queens,
Maverick is a legend of the West ,
Maverick is a legend of the West.

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The Mickey Mouse Club & The New Mickey Mouse Club
(1950s–1979, then 1989–1994)

Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me?
M.I.C, K.E.Y M.O.U.S.E!
Hey there, hi there, ho there — you’re as welcome as can be!
M.I.C, K.E.Y M.O.U.S.E!

Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck!) Mickey Mouse (Donald Duck!)
Forever we will hold your banner high-high-high-high!
Come along and sing the song and join our jamboree.
M.I.C, K.E.Y M.O.U.S.E!

(Closing theme)

Now it’s time to say goodbye to all our company
M.I.C ….. See you real soon!
K.E.Y …..Why? Because we like you!
M.O.U.S.E.

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Mighty Mouse

Mister Trouble never hangs around
When he hears this Mighty sound.
“Here I come to save the day”
That means that Mighty Mouse is on his way.
Yes sir, when there is a wrong to right
Mighty Mouse will join the fight.
On the sea or on the land,
He gets the situation well in hand.

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Minder (1979)

If you want to I’ll change the situation,
Right people, right time, just wrong location,
I’ve got a good idea,
Just you keep me near,
I’ll be so good for you.

I could be so good for you,
I’m gonna help ya!
Love you like you want me to,
I’ll do anything for you-ou,
I’ll be so good for you.

I could be so good for you,
I’ll do it like you want me to,
Love you like you want me to,
There ain’t nothing I can’t go through-ough,
I’ll be so good for you.

Some time when you’re feeling like a poor relation,
Call on me and I’ll give you more than conversation,
Take ’em, shakin’ hands — a deal
And move it brother — I’ll make you heel.
I’ll be so good for you

I could be so good for you,
I’ll be there right by your side,
Love you like you want me to,
There ain’t nothing you can hide from me,
I’ll be so good for you

I could be so good for you,
Yee-hoo! I’m your man!
Love you like you want me to,
I tell you there ain’t nothing, nothing, I can’t do,
I’ll be so good for you.

Don’t ask me no questions,
I’ll tell you no lies,
Use my shoulder to rest on,
I’ll be right by your side, I’ll be your ears and eyes.

I could be so good for you,
I’m the one you really need,
Love you like you want me to,
I can even help you breathe….
I’ll be so good for you.

I could make the good times roll,
Viva roll!
Love you with my heart and soul,
That’s right!
I’ll be so good for you.

I could be so good for you,
There ain’t nothing I can’t do,
Love you like you want me to,
You help me and I’ll help you….
I’ll be so good for you.

I could make the good times roll,
Woo-oo!
Love you with my heart and soul,
I’ll be pleased!
I’ll be so good for you.

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The Monkees (1966)

Here we come,
Walking down the street,
We get the funniest looks from
Everyone we meet.

Hey, hey we’re the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we’re too busy singing
To put anybody down.

We go wherever we want to,
Do what we like to do,
We don’t have time to get restless,
There’s always something new.

Chorus

We’re just trying to be friendly,
Come watch us sing and play,
We’re the young generation
And we got something to say.

Hey, hey we’re the Monkees,
You never know where we’ll be found,
So you’d better get ready,
We may be comin to your town.

Chorus.

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The Morecambe and Wise show: 1 (1972)

Anywhere, I will find you,
Don’t care where, look behind you,
I’ll be there, following you around.

Rain or shine you won’t shake me,
I don’t mind where you take me,
Spend my time, following you around.

Now listen, don’t you know,
Hiding from me does no good,
Wherever you may go
I’ll be in the neighbourhood.

If you fly, I will follow,
I don’t care about tomorrow,
Long as I’m — following you around.

See also “Two of a Kind”

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The Morecambe and Wise show: 2 (c.1978)

Bring me sunshine in your smile,
Bring me laughter all the while,
In this world where we live there should be more happiness,
So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow.

Make me happy through the years,
Never bring me any tears,
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above,
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love.

Bring me sunshine in your eyes,
Bring me rainbows from the skies,
Life’s too short to be spent having anything but fun,
We can be so content if we gather little sunbeams.

Be light-hearted all day long,
Keep on singing happy songs,
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above
Bring me fun, bring me sunshine, bring me love!

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Mr Ed

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And no one can talk to a horse, of course,
That is, of course, unless the horse
Is the famous Mr Ed.

Just go to the source and ask the horse,
He’ll give you the answer that you endorse,
He’s always on a steady course,
Talk to Mr Ed.

People yakkity yak a streak
And waste your time of day,
But Mister Ed will never speak
Unless he has something to say.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
And this one’ll talk ’til his voice is hoarse,
You never heard of a talking horse?
Well listen to this:
“I am Mister Ed.”

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Mr and Mrs (1970s)

Mr and Mrs — be nice to each other
Mr and Mrs — you gotta love one another

It’s your husband and wife game — Mr and Mrs!
And here’s your host — Derek Batey!

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Mr Piper (1963: ITV)

Come with me,
Come and see,
All the wonders there will be
In my stories and in my songs,
And everywhere where fun belongs.
You’ll meet heroes, giants bold,
Visit lands both hot and cold,
With magic tricks to shiver your skin,
Laughs galore with animals in
My world of fun —
Pied Piper’s Home.

[With Canadian opera tenor Alan Crofoot, dressed as a Pied Piper]

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Muffin the Mule

Here comes Muffin, Muffin the mule,
Dear old Muffin, playing the fool,
Here comes Muffin, everybody sing:
Here comes Muffin the mule!

Closing theme: Goodbye Muffin [etc.]

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The Muppet Show

It’s time to play the music
It’s time to light the lights
It’s time to meet the Muppets
On the Muppet Show tonight.

It’s time to put on makeup
It’s time to dress up right
It’s time to raise the curtain
On the Muppet Show tonight.

And now let’s get things started,
Why don’t you get things started,
It’s time to get things started,
On the most sensational, inspirational, celebrational Muppetational,
This is what we call the Muppet Show!

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